Today is the seventh day after I lost my baby. I honestly cannot believe how well I am doing and feeling. I still cry sometimes, but at almost no time do I feel like my sadness/grief is out of control. I miss my baby, but I'm actually looking forward to trying again. I know that even if I have another baby, I will still wish I had this baby, but that is okay. Missing this baby is not incompatible with having another baby.
Without giving away all my secrets, one thing has really surprised me about losing this baby. Mike and I had picked out names for our baby, but I can't really make myself name the baby with the names I picked out. I don't think I will use the names again for future babies, but this baby doesn't have a name. I call her Baby. MY Baby. I have heard some people name their babies that they lose and that it helps them to grieve. I just can't. I've tried to call my baby by what I would have named her, but it doesn't stick. I love you, Baby.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm praying for you. I know that my parents named the three babies that they lost, and I still refer to them as my siblings, but that is just part of how they felt about it. I know that God will help you through this and I look forward to getting to spoil the kids that you and Mike will have in the future. Love you cousin!
ReplyDelete